All You Need To Know About Polo Sport, The Game of Kings... and Queens
Warning: If you get confused easily, you don't have to read the Intro part in italics. You may please scroll down and keep reading from after the photo :)
Polo is about sitting, eating and drinking, and, most critically, eating and drinking at the same time, while sitting. Does it make sense? No? Ok let's try again.
It is about horses and balls and sharply dressed players, and of course, music and after-parties, sometimes even fashion shows and other entertaining displays. Simply put, it is about Dubai, and London, and Miami, and Los Angeles, and Ibiza, and Switzerland, and Argentina, and St. Tropez. Makes sense this time?
Here, though, is what Polo is not about: it is not about making small talk with people you barely know. It is not about checking out random dudes or chics, who by all estimations won’t be around for the next Polo season. It is not about making drinks for other people, unless those drinks happen to be beer, or those people happen to have brought over a picnic basket full of goodies, including beer. It is not about “networking.” It is not about “dressing to impress.” It is not about “trying to get that girl’s number.” And it is certainly, under absolutely no circumstances, about standing up, or, to be more specific, about not having a comfortable place to sit down, usually on the lawn.
But it can also be about all these things mentioned above, and more. Still confused? Like, we're actually now getting confused trying to confuse you. Just kidding, ok let's start over, seriously...
What is Polo?
Four men or women, or men and women mounted on horseback, hitting a ball with big sticks called mallets, at breathtaking speed. A sport for men and women of means...with sound heart condition.
It is the The Sport of Kings and Queens. The category is R-O-Y-A-L-T-Y.
Why is it called the Sport of Kings and Queens?
First off, when it is a given, that you are sharply dressed, and the trouser [breeches] dress-code color is mandatorily white, to play a game; trousers made of fabric, not the usual easy-to-wash athletic fabric. The attitude comes across as: when it gets stained, we buy another.
It is, by nature, a sport immune to the march of time and tech, raw, with a heavy dose of danger wrapped in elegance. In spite of this fact, it’s also downright polite, the horses as nimble, precise and disciplined as Italian engines or luxury Swiss watches. To play polo according to a friend of mine, is to revel in that ancient tension between man and beast, intelligence and brute strength. Picture this, and all you see are Kings and Queens.
Only Kings and Queens can worry about more than 1 or 2 situations at once, despite how fast-paced and tumultuous the events may turn out. Considering that every sport has you either worrying only about 1; the athlete eg swimming or running, or worrying about 2; the athlete and the ball eg basketball, soccer etc. Polo's got you worrying about 3: the athlete, the ball and the horse at a very fast, breath-taking pace.
A minimum of 3 to 4 horses are required per chukker. In other words, each player switches up their horse at various intervals throughout the match, ideally 2 to 3 minutes, for tactical and recovery-related purposes.
For those who think: “Oh it’s just 7 minutes, I can manage one horse...” Like the Dubai Police would tell you given certain situations: Not Allowed!
Simply put, and breaking it down in layman's language: Polo is a sport for men and women of means...with direct access to serious funds in major financial institutions, who most importantly, have the balls to spend.
Typical Polo Event
What is 'chukker'?
A full game is split in 5 parts called chukkers. Each chukker lasts 7 minutes, with a 3 minute interval between the 1st and the 2nd, and between the 4th and the 5th. At the end of the 3rd chukker, there is a 5 to 7 minute - break which serves as Halftime.
How does the scoring go exactly? It's confusing to figure who’s scoring on what side.
As all things royal, Polo can be quite complicated. After every goal, the teams swap sides. Meaning if you score here this time, you’re scoring there the next time. No team owns a side.
What’s the team make up?
A team is made up of 4 players. We here, name them as follows: The King or Queen, The Princes or Princesses, and Knights. The King or Queen wears the No. 1 jersey. This is usually the patron and owner of the team, in other words, the direct 'accessor' or 'accessee' to those serious funds in those major financial institutions, with balls to spend, which we spoke about earlier.
The King or Queen, popularly referred to as 'Patron', is capable of taking care of the entire Kingdom or Queendom i.e., team members - the Princes, Princesses and/or Knights, plus the Horse Community.
Considering that Polo tournaments usually come in 2 major categories i.e. high-goal and low-goal, the King or Queen owns a minimum of 2 teams; a high-goal team and a low-goal team, and of course, high-goal horses, and low-goal horses respectively.
The Horse Community typically comprises the horses at the home stable and away stable, the grooms, the trainers, the vet doctors, horse wardrobe; saddles, bridles, stirrups, nose shields, shin shields, stockings, horse shoes, ankle braces, tail ribbons, bath shampoos, brushes and other grooming stuff, and of course, horse feed and horse trucks - the cars for the horses, which are just mobile stables [houses] with air-conditioning.
A little more insight...
A typical polo stable situation usually houses a minimum of 60 horses in the home country, and another stable of minimum of 60 horses in breeding, and training, for future use, somewhere in a horse farm, typically located in South America; a continent that makes beautiful horses, barbecues, as well as supermodels. Some Kings or Queens have also been known to prefer their farms down west in Australia, or the United Kingdom... for reasons best known to them.
So back to the game.
The King or Queen wears the No. 1 jersey, and usually sets the tone of the game. Jersey 2 is usually the Playmaker and Defender of the peace; a Prince or Princess, who ensures there’s no clog in the wheels of progress, and still finds time to shield and protect the King or Queen, from the assaults of the opposition. Must be very tactful and witty.
Jerseys 3 and 4 are the ‘Assassins’, the Knights, the ‘Ride or Die’ players with sniper shots, who attack, defend, offend, upset, instigate, steal the ball, score assassin goals. Agility is key here. And their horses must be very highly disciplined, and possess speed, brakes and hydraulics, as can be likened to a racing Italian engine.
Jerseys 3 and 4 are usually the most fierce, most aggressive and most good-looking in the team. Don’t ask us why cos we honestly can’t explain that lethal combination.
Polo. Graceful yet Electrifying. Playful yet Mesmerizing. Gives you an escape from the mundane existence. With an after-party following every game, here is all you need to know about Polo. Anything else from here on, just like Royalty or Monarchy, is high-level complicated, and beyond our security clearance, and pay grade, and trust us, you don’t wanna know.
#PoloFAQ #WhatIsPolo #AllAboutPolo #PoloDescription #AboutPoloSport #AboutPoloGame #BreakdownOfTheGameOfPolo
Comments